A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine needed me to give her son a ride to school. She dropped the kid off a few minutes before we were due to leave. He sat on our couch and watched, mouth agape, as we ran around doing our morning routine.

"Are things this crazy at your house in the morning?" I asked him on one of my frenzied passes through the living room.

"Noooooo," he said, eyes wide as he tried to avoid the chaos by reading a book he'd found on the couch. Awesome. Now we're even scaring the neighborhood kids.

Honestly, I find it kind of a miracle that my kids aren't late to school every single day. In fact, I kind of find it a miracle that all kids aren't late to school every single day. Anyone else want to sign my petition to have school start at noon?

I'll be honest here, I am not a morning person, and I am not the parent who gets up before her kids. My husband does that. He's up early every day doing...stuff. I don't know what he does because I am sound asleep. I don't think he's getting the kids ready for school though, because they're all still mostly in bed when I roll out of bed somewhere between 7:15 and 7:30 for an 8 a.m. departure. 

If I had to guess, I would say that he is doing selfish things such as taking a shower and emptying the dishwasher.

At 7:15, there is usually at least one kid (and a dog) napping in my bed. A couple of my kids wander into our bed early in the morning after they wake up the first time. They call it Snuggle Time. I call it Oh My God You're Still Asleep Get Up Right Now Time.

My husband I have things down to a science in the morning. We're not what you could call a well-oiled machine, but we are at least a squeaky wheel.

Our division of labor is strict. My husband yells at the kids to get dressed, and I yell at them to put on their shoes and socks. He feeds them breakfast, and I plead with them to consider eating school lunch so I don't have to pack them anything to eat. He looks behind the toilet and under towels to find their toothbrushes, and I look under the table and on their bookshelves to find their jackets.

It's even more disorganized than it sounds.

Things come to a head at about 7:58, when both of us start shrieking at each other to "Help me! Will you just help me find their toothbrushes/left shoe?" No one in my house is very nice before 9 in the morning.

And all of that I just described? That's on a good day.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, "Why doesn't she just go to bed earlier and get up at 6:45?" To you, I say, "That late-night television isn't going to watch itself." Also, unless I go to bed at 8 (i.e. slightly before my kids), it is near impossible for me to get up before 7 o'dark. 

Regardless, every morning, Monday through Friday, we go through our routine. Somehow we get out the door on time almost every day. It's not a perfect system, but it works. Probably 95 percent of the time, everyone even manages to brush their teeth.

It's not the best system, but it works for us. At the very least, I figure I am teaching my kiddos some valuable lessons about flexibility and time management. After growing up with us, our kids are going to be able to do anything on short notice.

Stimey writes a personal blog at Stimeyland; an autism-events website for Montgomery County, Maryland, at AutMont; and a column called Autism Unexpected in the Washington Times Communities. You can find her on Twitter as @Stimey.