Tuesday, May 21, 2013
My son with autism is competing in a Geo Bowl at his school next week. I am beyond worried about how he is going to be able to navigate this unfamiliar situation—and what the fallout with the typical kids will be if it goes badly.
A little more than a week ago, I got an email from a parent at my son Jack's school. It started out with this happy greeting: "Great news! Your child was a top performer in the Geo Bowl quiz and has thus been selected to be on the 4th grade Geography Bowl team." Naturally, I panicked immediately. I am, of course, beyond proud of my son for qualifying to be on a Geo Bowl team. I will show up on Geo Bowl day and cheer on his team as they compete against the other fourth grade teams in this quiz show-style competition. No matter how it goes down, I will be so proud of him. That said, I can't imagine a situation more fraught with landmines. I am terrified of how this could go down. See, Jack is my son with autism. He is incredibly smart and …
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Before I had kids, I had visions of idyllic children doing hilarious and loving things. Reality has turned out to be a little bit harsher than that.
As I was sitting in an orthodontist's office this week reviewing payment plans and aesthetic options for braces for my oldest son (as the son in question was literally holding the doctor at arm's length by threateningly brandishing a book at him), I realized that this...this is not what I imagined when I first thought about what life with my kids would involve. No, when I was pregnant and imagining my son's teeth, I pictured the tooth fairy and delightful moments of wonder when he found a coin under his pillow. The reality, of course, is orthodontists, dental insurance, and having your son lose a tooth in a hotel lobby and demanding a dollar right there because he doesn't have time anymore for the tooth fairy charade. It then occurred to …
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Of all the words in the English language, the "r-word" is one of my top ten least favorite. Last week, one of my kids used it for the first time.
I curse in front of my kids. This is a conscious parenting choice that I have made. My intention is to teach my kids that so-called "bad" words are just words—the trick is figuring out when it is and isn't appropriate to say them. (My subsequent rule: It is not appropriate to say them if you are a child.) I am far more interested in teaching my children to use respectful language rather than enforcing arbitrary rules about what is a good word and what is a bad word. That is why even though I am pretty lax about language, I prohibit the use of the r-word in my home. You know the word I mean—it's the one people use jokingly to make fun of others, to call them stupid, to imply that they are less than. It is the one that used to be a medical …
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
The new Costco is like a wonderland for my kids. Staunching the binge buying is going to take some effort.
Back when my kids were in diapers, my husband and I were Costco members and would head down to Beltsville every month or so to buy diapers, oranges, ground beef, and usually an impulse purchase or two. (Two dozen Sharpies in a rainbow of colors? Yes, please!) Side note: Have you noticed that everyone has an opinion on which is the best Costco? Side note to the side note: No one thinks it is the Beltsville location. Now that there is a Costco within walking distance of our house, we re-signed up under the premise that we could go there to buy just milk or just bread—or just 32 new acrylic drinking glasses. My husband is thrilled to be back in the land of bulk purchasing, but for my kids, who don't remember experiencing the joy of warehouse …
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
I still don't like going to IEP meetings where the school and I figure out what special education services my son will get, but they have gotten exponentially easier than when we started.
My 9-year-old, Jack, is a wonderful fourth grader full of intelligence and humor and fantastic hugs. He is creative and loves to read and is a master at Minecraft. He is also autistic and a student who needs a good amount of help at school, which means he needs an IEP—an Individualized Education Program—to help him access the same curriculum at school that other fourth graders use. Jack's IEP team had our meeting yesterday to hammer out the details of his plan for next year, something that the families of all special education students in Montgomery County do at least once a year. As my husband and I sat with Jack's team and breezed through our meeting, it occurred to me how much IEP meetings have changed for my family. I vividly remember …
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I try really hard to get my workouts in when I'm not in charge of my kids, but sometimes I have to drag them along.
My New Year's resolution was to get in better shape through exercise and eating better. I know it's unoriginal. Whose resolution wasn't to get in better shape? The great thing is that I've actually been successful at making progress toward my goal. The amazing part is that I've managed to do it while juggling my kids. I'm not going to go into my eating habits and how that has been the great failure of my resolution. I feel like I could write an entire column about how my kids screw up my nutrition. Yeah, let's blame them. That feels right. My success has come in the arena of exercise. Except for March when I just stopped running because I was tired of being cold, I have done a pretty good job of running several times a week. I'm not a …
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
We know huge events at the White House are going to be a nightmare, but still we enter the lottery and cross our fingers that we get to go. This is why.
One of the great things about living in the DC area is that there are so many fun things to do with kids. Not only are there things like museums, which are there every day, but there are also special events that come around just a few times a year. One of those events is the White House Easter Egg Roll, which my family was lucky enough to attend yesterday. The real secret of these special events, of course, is that they are total nightmares, but we all still want to go regardless. Every single year I enter my name into the Easter egg roll lottery and every year I get an email from "unsuccessfullotterynotification@recreation.gov"—the worst email address in the world, by the way—telling me that I was not selected. This happened to me this …
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Spring break is the time for adventure! The only problem is figuring out where to go.
This week is spring break for Montgomery County Public Schools students. All too often for my family, spring break turns into a long slog through an unexciting week wherein my kids desperately want to just play video games and I desperately want my kids to just do anything other than play video games. This year, I decided to get ahead of the game and make plans to keep us busy for much of the week. Step one? Plan an adventure! Because I am really good at thinking ahead, I started planning for our overnight Monday adventure on Sunday. The hardest part was finding a destination. With my three kiddos, once we have a place to go, we automatically have an adventure. The problem was finding a location within a couple of hours of DC that all …
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The death of a family pet can be devastating for kids. Hopefully my family's story can give you some ideas to help your own children with pet loss.
My family had a sad weekend. Cassidy, our 13-year-old dog, has been in declining health for a long time. On Saturday, we had our vet come to our home to put her to sleep while she sat on her dog bed and my husband and I petted her head. It was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. Even worse, it was emotionally wrenching for my kids. Losing a pet is difficult for anyone, but it is especially hard for children who don't necessarily understand euthanasia or what happens after death. Sadly, my kids have become experienced at losing furry family members. Over the past couple of years, we have lost five mice and a beloved cat. It has been heartbreaking every time. I believe in being honest and straightforward with my kids even when the …
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Nothing will make you more grateful for childcare help as having your partner go out of town for a week.
I am primarily a stay-at-home mom, which means that most of my kids' care falls on me. I'm the parent who packs school lunches, makes sure they do their homework, contacts teachers, goes to doctor appointments, makes dinner, and does all of the other tasks that fall on whomever happens to be home between the hours of 8 in the morning and 7:30 at night. Even though I manage their lives pretty well, there is nothing more exhausting and demoralizing than when my husband, Alex, goes on a trip for work and leaves me to do all of the work. His absence just adds about two hours to my child care day, but those two hours (7-8 a.m. and 7:30-8:30 p.m.) are hard. Alex was out of town for almost all of last week, which left me to solo parent. I …
Catherine Newnham
12:44 pm on Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Yes and yes to everything you say here. The reality of parenthood is simultaneously far far worse and far far better than the fantasy could possibly be. The truth about living with multiple pairs of giant stinky man shoes should be enough to make most of us think twice about filling our houses with male offspring. And when did I sign up to help a hormonal 15 yr old write an impossible essay on a … more ›